When a divorce is difficult on the parties involved, chances are the children feel even worse. During a high conflict divorce in Oklahoma, the parents can be bitter, angry, resentful, and downright full of rage.
It is very important that this situation is contained between the adults and does not trickle down to the children.
Children are often used as pawns in high conflict divorces, struggling to please each parent. They end up learning that all conflict is to be avoided, instead of some conflict being normal and healthy.
Situations, events, and words bombard their brains at a time when they are unable to process the information.
Characteristics of children that are subjected to hostile parents in a high conflict divorce in Oklahoma include poor social interaction, lying, anxiety, emotional and social immaturity, poor grades, and acting out in school.
Many of these children have similar characteristics to children who are abused and neglected.
In order to avoid these consequences, discuss with the other parent ways to minimize inappropriate conflict and emphasize good communication and coping skills.
Here are some suggestions in order to protect your child during a difficult time.
Seek Out A Therapist
It is often helpful for your child to see a therapist during this period. Framing therapy in a way that is not socially stigmatizing is important.
You can tell your child that they are going to “school” to learn about how their brain works and develop brain games when they are feeling negative emotions in order to better process them.
Most therapists are familiar with children of divorces and are experienced in teaching children positive coping strategies. Having a neutral person to talk to is important for your child.
Often this person will be one of the only people they can discuss their feelings openly with during the divorce process.
Don’t Bad Mouth The Other Parent During A High Conflict Divorce In Oklahoma
One of the worst things you can do is speak badly about the other parent in front of your child. This can create a situation where your child does not feel safe saying anything about the other parent for fear of reprimand.
Once this occurs, your child will begin to shut down and not talk to either parent. This idea of someone being “all bad” starts to form “black and white thinking” at a young age.
Black and white thinking does not allow for mistakes or grey areas. This can be very dangerous and can lead to perfectionism, extreme dieting, extreme thinking, isolation, or self-harm.
Although the other parent may have made hurtful comments or acted badly, it is important to put your child first and protect them from negative comments about their other parent.
Create A Divorce Free Zone
Remind others in your life not to discuss the divorce in front of your child. It may be tempting to start discussing the latest development in front of your friends or parents, but don’t allow yourself to if your child is in the room.
Divorce is an abstract concept. Thus, most children don’t understand why the other parent moved out or what the divorce process is; their brains are not mature enough to understand.
Discussing concepts freely in front of your child that are difficult to understand can cause confusing emotions, most of them painful.
If you need to talk about the process, it is best to talk in another room, when your child is with their other parent, or privately to a counselor.
Take Personal Time During A High Conflict Divorce In Oklahoma
Taking care of yourself is also taking care of your child. If you are not well rested, you could come across as harsh or angry. If support is offered, take advantage of it.
Keep your hygiene up, don’t skip meals or showers, get your hair cut, or get a massage. Ensuring you are rested and well taken care of will make you a better parent.
If you are up all night crying and you know you are going to be tired and cranky all day, don’t be afraid to ask for help from a Tulsa divorce attorney.
Free Consultation with a Tulsa Divorce Lawyer
The divorce process is what you make it — the higher the conflict, the more expensive your case becomes. Hiring a skilled and experienced Tulsa divorce attorney ensures your rights are protected and explains all necessary and unnecessary steps in the process.
Contact an experienced Tulsa divorce lawyer when you need to go through the Oklahoma divorce process.
For a free, confidential consultation, call 918-924-5526 now.
