There are many behaviors to avoid during a divorce in Tulsa, Oklahoma. However, it is perfectly understandable that you or your spouse may take frustration or anger out on each other.
Thus, this article outlines the top four behaviors that are common in difficult divorces, but that can actually end up damaging the outcome of your case.
Behaviors To Avoid During A Divorce In Tulsa: Do Not Threaten Your Spouse
Threatening to take certain assets or take them to court over their cherished vehicle when you don’t really want it anyway is not the way to accomplish your goal. It is OK to bring an issue to your spouse’s attention, but idle threats will only fuel the animosity and create a high conflict divorce in Oklahoma.
To avoid instances in which you feel like you have to threaten to get your way, make sure everything is in writing. For example:
- Note the amount of time your spouse spends with your children.
- Record any money that is taken from the joint account.
- Write down what was discussed and agreed upon in regard to all conversations.
- Keep all documentation, including your own actions, organized.
It is very helpful to send an email including “summaries” of you and your spouse’s conversations Also, ask for any edits to the summary. You should write emails informing your spouse about parent/teacher conferences, doctor’s appointments, etc.
Do Not Try to Represent Yourself In A High-Conflict Divorce
Hiring a Tulsa divorce attorney helps to neutralize a high-conflict divorce. Also, it ensures a professional is taking care of your case. Thus, there should not be any oversights or mistakes.
Also, an Oklahoma divorce attorney can help mediate issues and remove emotions from the process. If you have one person completely committed to your case, you can go about your life without worrying about your case.
You will always have an advocate to expertly draft motions and other pleadings, accompany you to hearings, and support you through trial. You don’t have to be alone going through this process. Also, with an attorney you will never have to second guess if you’re making the right decisions.
Do Not Bring Up Past Relationship Issues
When you are working through a high conflict divorce with your spouse, it is easy to fall right back into the dynamic that the two of you were in when unhappily married. This is not the time to discuss what went wrong in your marriage, whose fault it is, and what should have been done better.
Also, if you use your Tulsa divorce attorney as a therapist, you will start to incur large “therapy” bills. Continuing to talk about your previous relationship issues will increase tension, bring up underlying negative emotions, hinder your ability to heal, and perpetuate a high conflict divorce.
The best advice anyone can give you is to focus on the reality of your situation and on moving forward in your life.
Behaviors To Avoid During A Divorce In Tulsa: Do Not Unload Emotions on Family and Friends
In the days following your decision to divorce, you may be tempted to try to convince your family members and friends — and even family members and friends of your spouse’s — that you are right about issues related to the divorce. This could include whose fault the divorce is, how assets should be divided, and how custody should be assigned.
Emotional support is one thing; however, unloading every awful detail about your spouse and your marriage is another.
It is important to seek a therapist during this time if you need someone with whom you can vent and discuss your high conflict divorce. You will learn healthy coping strategies, better responses when dealing with your spouse, and a reality check on your own actions. Also, it is less expensive then venting to your Tulsa divorce attorney.
Free Consultation With A Tulsa Divorce Lawyer
The divorce process is what you make it — the higher the conflict, the more expensive your case becomes. Hiring a skilled and experienced Tulsa divorce attorney ensures your rights are protected and explains all necessary and unnecessary steps in the process.
Contact an experienced Tulsa divorce lawyer when you need to go through the Oklahoma divorce process.
For a free, confidential consultation, call 918-924-5526 now.
